my rap yo, give me feedback please!

If you guys would listen to some of my raps on Soundcloud and tell me what i need to work on or things that do work. I mean anything, volume of tracks, lyrics, voice, instrumentals, i really want to get better at mastering these tracks. Also if anyone makes beats, I’d like to collaborate, I sing too, so hip hop, jazz, rock, it don’t matter, hit me up. 

click, cause this is the link  (opens in new window)

It takes a lot. 

It’s hard to live, when you give, 

All that you have got, to be shot. 

Down. Over and over, onto the ground. 

Well rounded, profound, and astoundingly 

Bound for better.

I have a letter, 

To those eyes, glazed glass from cries,

Passed away, misplaced, or broken ties.

Mistaken, faked heart break

For art’s sake, 

Or the inability to stay awake, 

Taken away by God’s right hand. 

The wrong man, 

The strong sister, 

And the one who stood along, 

To help you move on, 

And became overwhelmed, 

He himself is now gone. 

This mysterious realm. 

Tearing tears,

From histories stage drama.

Disengaged trauma,

Time to turn the page, Mama.